Evans World 2011–Week Three

I’m not quite ready to come out and say that the opposite of whatever I say will come true (let’s give it at least one more week to be sure), but I can’t deny the fact that the opposite of my predictions happened this week.  In truth, I don’t give a shit because it worked out so well to my own benefit!  Hell, what’s the point in presenting all my wisdom and greatness to the world through this blog if it doesn’t get reflected (in some way) on the scoreboard?  Yeah, I’m feeling good as I write this.  I know you’re happy for me too.

AND SO I’M BACK, FROM OUTER SPACE
I know I have no proof whatsoever, but you’ve got to believe me when I say I knew that I was going to beat Mike after the first set of games was over.  Sure, I was down over 50 points and Mike still had 1 player left.  I just knew that the players I had left would put me over the top.  I just needed a few things to go my way.  Well, they did, although once again the opposite of what I expected.  I thought Blount and Rivers would have awesome games and put me over Mike.  Turns out it would be Tomlinson and Finley who got the job done.  I thought the Packers defense would provide 15+ points.  I’m happy with the 8 they gave me.  I’m not back in the running yet, but at least I’m not in the gutter I imagined myself in just a few days ago.  Feels good to be relevant again.

FIRST LEARN BALANCE
Well, somehow after just one week the standings in the league have really balanced out.  The Tonys fall so that the Brown boys can claim the top spots.  The win-loss standings may not end up as important as the point totals if this keeps up.  Gotta be frustrating for Kevin though for while he’s #3 in points, he’s sitting at the #7 spot.  Remind me of this in about 8 weeks and we’ll see if the trend has continued or not.  Enjoy life at the top, Berk.  Kevin’s coming for you next week.

WE ARE ALL STUPID
I know I wrote about it last season, and Kevin mentioned it to me again this past week … why the hell don’t we draft Wes Welker in the first round every year?  Just to remind you, Welker went to Nathan as the last pick in the third round.  That is just wrong, and we should all be ashamed of our poor research skills.  Need some more perspective?  After three weeks, here is the total point standing of Welker compared to the 4 WR that were drafted in the first round:

1. Wes Welker – 78.85
2. Calvin Johnson – 63.25
3. Andre Johnson – 49.20
4. Larry Fitzgerald – 39.95
5. Roddy White – 37.20

Let’s face it, going back as far as his days with Miami, Welker has been a giant in Evans World play.  This season alone (particularly this weekend) shows that he is as much a “must-have” FF player every season as Peyton Manning, Randy Moss, Marshall Faulk and so many other FF studs that have topped our ranks.  So, why did we wait to let Nathan have him?  I think we all convinced ourselves that last season was as good as Welker was going to get.  Hell, we’ll probably think that next season too.  Welker may not make it into Canton, but he is most definitely a shoe-in for the EW Greatest Player Ever List (Nathan, let’s get started on this list!).

TWEET THIS, HONKUS
As far as I know, DC Tony is the only person in our league so far to mention his FF performance on Facebook this season.  So, when he posted this week that he was frustrated by his lineup I couldn’t figure out why.  Looking at how the weekend played out for him, I now understand.  I think Deion Branch gets the non-award for Unfortunate Owner Start this week.  Ouch.  More posts to come, DC Tony?  I hope so.

NEVER, EVER TRUST A BEARS FAN
If you like the pic here of Rob’s daughter crapping on my Favre Packers jersey, you’ll need to check out the other pictures he took.  For those who don’t know, I agreed to send my Favre jersey, Packers t-shirt and tie to our Houston office so that a co-worker of ours could decorate Rob’s office with tons of Packers pictures and stuff for when he returned from a visit to Omaha.  It was awesome!  But, I had inadvertently surrendered my stuff to a lunatic and thus opened myself up to pictures like these.  Learn a lesson here, my friends … Rob sucks.

I’ve only got one thing left to say, Rob:  Scoreboard.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?
Still looking for ideas on nicknames for New Tony.  For those of you who missed it, Kevin suggested “Le Douche” which has a nice ring to it.  But, I’m thinking “NewT.”  It’s short for N-T (Tom, you get that by taking the N from New and T from Tony and then making them sound like one word … I know it’s a lot for your feeble mind to take in.  Think hard on it and it’ll come to you in time.)  Plus, it’s just a fun word to say.  NewT, NewT, NewT.  For all we know, some Fremont Witch turned him into a newt once and he got “bettuh.”  What say you, friends?  I’m guessing NewT would prefer we find a nickname for DC Tony, but right now I’m more worried about his team beating me next week.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

• I will consider refunding the entry fee for anyone in our league who can provide written material dated before the season started that predicted the Bills and the Lions would be 3-0.  It just blows my mind away to think on it.  There’s only one other team that can brag as much:  your World Champion Packers.
• I’d also bet that after the draft Kevin didn’t think that Fitzpatrick would start more than 1 game for him all season.
• Mike will ride the Lions bandwagon for as long as he can, me thinks.  I for one was very happy to see them kick the field goal in OT.  I’d be willing to bet (yes, I’m gambling a lot this week) that the next pass would have gone to Johnson in the end zone.  I’ll say this much for the Lions … they came out in the second half and played like they were sure they were going to win.  Stafford looked like a seasoned pro, methodically and calmly guiding his team to several scores and that great pass in OT.  I think Jim Schwartz’s fist-pumping reaction after the game-winning FG said it all … the Lions are a force to be taken seriously again.
• This was an odd week in that some of the biggest names of the first three weeks had such quiet days.  Frustrating for FF junkies like me looking for trends and comfort in the certainty of a player’s particular greatness.  I’m sure Nathan would agree for Vick, Berk for Hillis, Rob for Foster, etc. etc. 
• I know these numbers only interest me, but it’s my blog so I’ll mention them.  Gary and Tom were tied at 11.65 after the first games.  I don’t know why that intrigues me so much, but it’s just cool.  Also, after Sunday’s games, Kevin was beating Jason by 0.90 points (111.98 to 111.08).  Still a ways away from the record for closet game, but the closest game thus far. (If you haven’t already, check out the Evans World Records that are now available on my blog.)
• How times are a changin’ … the Sunday night game between the Steelers and Colts was pretty irrelevant in Evans World.  I’d say the only people even paying attention were Gary (Rothesburger) and NewT (Mike Wallace).  What a yawner for two teams that are normally FF juggernauts. 
• Games with swamp-like conditions in Charlotte would make me want to quit the sport.  Sure, it’s great when large breasted women in string bikinis or short-lived white, cotton t-shirts are involved, but, man, it would suck to play football on that field!
• Kudos to Tom for picking up on the line-up changes this season.  Greatly improved from the last … well … since you started playing with us ever.  Must be all his extra free time lately.
• Kudos to Kevin and Tony for actually responding to this blog!  My relevancy quotient went up that much higher thanks to you two.  I hope we’ll see more banter, either on this blog or on the EW site.  I miss the trash talking of 5 years ago.
• 33% of the league is voting for matchups now, thanks to Rob.  Represent, people! 
• Ritchie, seriously dude, change your team name or I’m going to start testing some of these “Commish Tools” on your team, and I’m not changing anything back.
• Speaking of team names, after almost 10 years of consistency … Nathan, why the team name change?  There’s got to be a story there.
• Got to do some trash talking with Chris Roode before the Packers-Bears game.  I miss talking football with him.  I’m sure you guys do too.  Hopefully he still reads this blog.
• Philip Rivers can just bite me.  Seriously, a top 10 FF player last year can’t even score a single TD against the league’s worst team, the Chiefs!?! (sorry, Gary)
• Sure, Tom Brady threw as many INT’s this week as he did all last season, but with 9 TD’s on the season so far, I’ve got a feeling he could break his own record for most TD’s in a season, something that will continue to make Ritchie happy, particularly if he keeps throwing to Gronkowski for at least 1 TD a game. 
• Kenny Britt.  Out for the year.  Not quite what I meant by one-week wonder.  I wouldn’t wish a torn ACL on anyone.  Good pickup by NewT on the rookie WR for the Ravens.
• Did you like the trade between Nathan and me?  Yeah, I did too.  Will Hernandez pay off for Nathan when he returns?  Probably, but too little too late is my hope.

WEEKLY AWARDS

• MVP – Gotta give this one to Finley for putting me up and over the top to defeat Mike this week.  It always feels good to see him have a monster game (right Gary?), and always great to see the Packers win.  Sure, I’m biased.  Bite me.  I already gave Welker enough cred this week.
• Honorable Mention – I’d love to give it to Eli Manning for having the kind of week we always want from him but so rarely get.  Let’s see if it becomes a trend.  Instead, I’ll give it to Kevin for starting Fitzpatrick.  I’m sure he did it with a little fear in his mind, but it paid off.  Not sure how he’ll address that position on his team each week.  I mean, it’s still the Bills … right? …
• Best Owner Move/Choice – I really like Mike picking up and starting Nate Washington, even though he lost our matchup.  That’s foresight, and a clear demonstration that Mike knows that things in Tennessee have changed.  They’re a real NFL team now, not the McNair/Johnson show anymore … i.e., they have a passing game.
• Unfortunate Bench – Thought about giving the best owner move to Berk for picking up Victor Cruz, but I’ll put him here instead since he finally had the week that Jason wanted him to have last season.  With a depleted WR corps for the Giants, I see Cruz getting more touches each week.  This week, though, Berk didn’t need him … so, the award really goes to Sydney Rice who would have given Kevin the win this week.  Sure, I wouldn’t have started him either, but this award isn’t about hindsight, it’s about the gut shot you feel for not starting someone and losing.
• Lawrence Philips Award – I have to agree with Roode, Foit and thousands of Bears fans everywhere and give the LPA this week to the officiating crew for the Packers-Bears game.  I don’t know where in the world they saw holding on that kickoff return!  2/3 of both teams were on the other side of the field and not close enough to spit on each other!  Bad, bad call that wouldn’t have changed the outcome but would have left Bears’ fans with better tastes in their mouths.

Good luck to everyone in Week 4!  I’m not going to say or predict anything more about next week … of course, I sort of predicted that DC Tony will beat me next week earlier in the blog.  2-2 here I come!