You're Lucky to Know What I Think: What I Think About Week 8 2015

Greetings, friends. I know the momentous Week 9 is already underway as I’m writing this, and I apologize for the delay. Another crazy week in the life of the Wendels. But also yet another humbling, unsatisfying week of FF for me in both my leagues. I think I finally understand why Gary quit. It’s hard to do something for so long and never succeed at it. The fun starts to bleed away.

In the first 3 weeks of the season, my team averaged 118.40 points and was 2-1. That included a Week 3 that was one of the Top 5 highest point totals in EW history! In the 5 weeks since? My average team score was 79.30. I have no explanation for that other than perhaps karma getting paid back at an alarming rate. For the most part, my team is the same players in Week 8 as I had in that monster Week 3. So what happened? How could my luck shift so dramatically and impact so many different players? It boggles the mind and wounds the soul. I’m struggling this week in FF, I won’t lie, knowing full well that Week 9 is the most important week of the entire season as this is the week I face Tom. I have to win this weekend for the season to mean anything at all. Sadly, I’m the underdog, and rightfully so. We shall see.

No pressure or anything folks, but the Duoviri scored 81.37 points on fucking Thursday night. No pressure this weekend, Kevin, although you are … as the great Princess once said … our only hope. Win or lose this weekend, the twins are pretty much a guarantee for the playoffs if not the top spot in the league. With their win last week over Barry, the Doppelgangers have entered the EW Record Book for longest winning streak. Congrats boys.
In truth, the Patriots vs. Dolphins Thursday night game was the wet dream of any FF owner. Players on both teams lit up the FF charts. The same is also true of the Saints-Giants game. Holy shit. Talk about your FF points! Well, that is if you’re anyone other than Berk or Kevin.
Berk, I don’t think anyone would disagree with your call to start Ryan over Brees this weekend, considering he was facing the worst DEF in the league. And even though you won your matchup (more on that later), it must really hurt to leave 50.27 points on your bench. You’re still in last place in the standings behind me because of it.
And poor, poor Kevin. Eli has become the painful thorn in your side this season. But you knew full well that he would be when you picked him up. Raise your hand if you’ve had Eli in the past 6 years on your FF team? Yeah, it sucks. 43 points left behind on your bench, but like I told you, you wouldn’t need them. Even still, ouch.
Back to Berk … I guess my little observation last week about his record losing streak kickstarted something in the universe, and Berk had a great week beating Rich’s #2 team in the league! Congrats, Berk, for stopping the hemorrhage when you could. That’s a record no one wants to hold, including myself, although I have a good shot at earning it depending on how the matchup with Tom goes.
Speaking of Tom, congrats on another big week. Hold your head up high, Tom. Your team is averaging 98.5 points a week. That’s arguably one of your best ever. Enjoy it. Your place in the standings may not show it, but I still feel you’re going to be a potential spoiler for Rich, Mike or the Duoviri and their quest to get a playoff spot in the next few weeks. Good luck. Just lose to me.
I doubt any FF owner in the past three years would have ever thought that Marshall would have this much distress and failure when deciding whether to start Luck or Manning. They should both be FF gold. Sadly, they’re slumping, especially Luck. I don’t think Manning’s big week against the Packers will be repeated in the AFC any time soon.
Speaking of my poor Packers … Aaron Rodgers threw for less yards than Matt fucking Cassel. Lowest FF point total in his entire career. I’d be more pissed if I hadn’t already been beaten by Kevin by Monday night. Even still, a little worried that my Patriots-Packers Super Bowl isn’t quite the lock I thought it was two weeks ago.
Kevin, don’t you hate game-time decisions? Every FF owner of John Brown feels your pain.
What a great matchup between Tony P and Mike! It was close all weekend! And then to finish so close with such high scores! Good stuff for us to watch. I think we all enjoyed it, except for Mike who squandered a huge week from his team in a loss in his matchup. Tony kept his playoff hopes alive!
Going to be a tight race for a playoff spot between Mike and Kevin for the rest of the season. Between the two of them, I like Mike’s matchups more. But hey, I thought he was going to beat Tony too.
Dez Bryant. Get the fuck outta here. There should be a league for asshole players like you and T.O. and Chad Johnson and Ray Rice. You taint the game with your behavior, and whatever skill you have in the sport is wasted. Please leave us alone. We don’t want you anymore.
I for one agree with Chris Christie. The U.S.A. has far more important problems facing our leadership than to have to spend any brain power or precious debate time discussing the legality of fantasy football gambling. Give me a fucking break, MSNBC.
I have to think the Minnesota players decided to go for the win against Michigan. I think as a team and as supporters of their former coach, they can hold their heads up high. I’m not so sure about their interim coaches, fans or pundits.
Holy shit, Miami. That was an awesome return to end the game. It’s too bad you had so many penalties that it should never have happened. I still can’t understand how in this age of cameras and massive staffs supporting each college and NFL game how we don’t have enough people and evidence to take 5 minutes, go through the tape, and find even 1 of the 5 penalties that should have reversed the call on the field. Just a massive failure of the system across the board that boggles my mind.
Nathan, you back on board the Hurricane bandwagon again?
I love the team that Jack Del Rio has built in Oakland. They’re believers. If only the team owners felt that way. I doubt they’ll get the fan base/support they need in L.A.
If there were two things I could wish out of the existence today, they would be autism and the Steelers’ throwback jerseys. God, those things are hideous.