Random Thoughts for the Week of April 23, 2012

• Rest in peace, Dick Clark.  You shaped a world during your 82 years, far more than most of us could ever hope to.  I met you on Bandstand, became your buddy on Bloopers and rang in the new years with you.  You were everything great and noble about the music and television industries, and your presence and example will be missed.
• Well done, Michigan!  Now, let’s see the other 49 states crack down on people who abuse welfare payments.
• Granted I’m not one who wants to turn away health care for sick people, particularly babies, but after long thought I have to say the Nebraska legislature made a mistake in overturning the veto of the bill to fund pre-natal health care for illegal immigrants.  It’s not that I’m against ensuring healthy babies … I’m against my taxes paying for it for illegal immigrants.  Charities and other health-care organizations can raise funds on their own can handle it.  I want my tax dollars to benefit legal citizens of this country in health care, entitlements and roads without potholes.  We are the land of the free where everyone is welcome, yes.  But we’re not the land of the free hand-out.  Please don’t expect me and my fellow tax-payers to foot your bills when you’re not willing to contribute too … of course, now I’ll have to when I move back.  Ah well, maybe I’ll get some free shit from the government someday.
• It’s funny how for the past few weeks I find my thoughts mirroring the Republican party platform.  But I still have too many liberal beliefs that would get me kicked out of most of their conventions. Ah well, I think potential parenthood has me looking at the world with a more realistic (selfish) and less generous nature, sadly. I remember a time when I was happy for the government to pay for everything people couldn’t get themselves. Yeah, that’s gone. Even still, I’ll try to keep my old, white-guy thoughts to a minimum and remember that being liberal is where the fun is at.
• I found it a little excessive to see the NBA fine a player $25,000 for giving another player a wet willy.  First of all, it’s something that’s missing from every sport!  Imagine how great it would be for a first baseman to give the runner a wet willy just as the pitcher turns to throw to first.  Or hockey players during a brawl.  Hell, the entire rugby game.  Fun, right!? Well, Mindi correctly pointed out that $25K was not excessive because to them that’s just like a $5 fine.  Well put, babe.
• Never read books about babies during meals.  There’s only so many pages you can read about burping, peeing and pooping until that stromboli starts to really look unappetizing.
• Nothing welcomes baseball to me more than watching “Bull Durham” and its boring, fascist strike-outs.  Play ball and bring me a hot dog!
• I am an NFL Draft junkie.  I’ll admit it proudly.  I love watching round 7 as much as round 1.  There’s so many nuances to the draft, so many strategies that can be deployed.  Most importantly, you get a sense of where teams are focusing their futures: offense vs. defense, stars vs. potentials, etc.  It sets up the season ahead more than preseason games ever could.  I read about a dozen mock drafts each year to get psyched up for it.  Plus, I love the stories of the draftees.  All of them have worked to get drafted and finally get the pay off, not just monetarily.  Aside from seeing one of my books hit the NY Times bestseller list, there’s nothing in my own life I can compare with the excitement they must feel when they get the call from the coach or GM.  It’s just a fun, fun event.  Plus, I get to cheer on each Packer draft pick and each Husker who gets drafted!  I’m not a huge fan of the 4-day draft, but I make do in order to enjoy myself.  I’m pretty indifferent about Mel Kiper’s standings, mostly because he can be influenced by the star factor above straight talent, but he does his homework on every player.
• Last week I stood outside on my porch, bathing in some mid-day sunlight, and the wind kicked up a hundred little helicopters from the tree out front and spread them out in the air in front of me, filling my vision with an array of life and motion.  It was beautiful.
• Even still, you want to know the most annoying thing about living and working in Columbus?  I have a Columbus Income Tax on top of my State, Federal, SS and Medicare tax.  When we move back to Omaha, I expect to get none of that back.  Fuck this town right in the ear (sometimes).

ALEXANDER UPDATE

• We finally arrived at the “is he coming yet?” point.  We’re ready for him to be here.  We’re ready for the late-night pee breaks and sore backs and carpal-tunnel to go away.  In a nutshell, Mindi’s ready for a beer and I’m ready to get her all she wants.
• That being said, I probably just jinxed us to go the full 40 weeks.
• Brad: “Welcome to motherhood!”
  Mind: “Bite me.”
• Mindi: “I’ll start paying for {Alex’s} therapy now.  Daddy issues don’t do anything but turn boys into psychos and girls into prostitutes.”   Okay, you had to be there but it was a good joke at the time.
• My grandmother, Jeanette, had this in her gift salutation: “Welcome to civilization.”  I love my family!