Evans World 2011–Week 9

The Lord taketh away and then he giveth right back.  The theme of my week, I suppose.  It feels good to have a huge week after such a dismal performance last week.  I felt a little vindicated in my choices during the draft, but only a little.  This is a typical thing for me in FF … I make choices I think will pay off all season but then only have 1-2 really good weeks in them.  Julio Jones is this season’s example.  But while my defeat of Kevin is sweet and one I’ll enjoy for some time, there were two far more interesting matchups this week …

I COULD HEAR THE SCREAMS FROM HERE
I have to think Monday night was a pure stressfest for Mike and Berk.  They started out so close in the total points; Mike with Brent Celek and Berk with LaSean McCoy left to play.  We kept track from my house … the lead between these two changed almost five times before McCoy scored the TD and granted Berk the win.  What a fun time it was (for us anyway) to see a play happen on the TV and then look to the StatTracker for the impact.  Very close matchup between you guys … something tells me we’ll see it again in a few weeks (more to come on that later).  But for a really close matchup, let’s look to what’s behind curtain #2!

MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH
We have a new record for the closest matchup this week between Rob and Gary! 0.13 point difference to give Rob the win.  In truth, I figured Rob would score more than enough points Monday night to put him well ahead of Gary (hell, maybe Gary thought that too), but to see the game end with the score that close is just impressive.  Nice win, Rob.

BATTLE OF THE NOOBS
With such epic matchups as Mike and Berk and Rob and Gary, it’s hard to focus on the matchup between NewT and Ritchie as anything as grand as I’d hoped at the start of the weekend.  Still, it was a close matchup and NewT scraped out a win.  How should we feel that at least one of the two noobs has a good chance of making the playoffs?  Yeah, we suck like that, but I think we can all agree that this hasn’t been anyone’s best year of FF to date.  Sad, but true.

UNPRECIDENTED SUCKAGE
Do I feel sorry for beating Kevin this week?  No more than any of you do for beating him any of the other 5 times.  It still baffles me that Kevin’s team sits at the #2 point total team but still lingers on thin hopes of making the playoffs at the #9 standing!  I can’t recall a team like that in the 12 years I’ve been playing FF.  Point totals don’t guarantee championships (learned that a few years ago myself), but Kevin’s team this year is a complete fucking mystery to me. No guarantees this week against Mike who has shown a couple of times this season how the projected point totals are far lower than what the final ends up being for his team.  Depending on how Kevin finishes his season, we might need to create a new EW record category for “Best Team to Miss the Playoffs.”

RANDOM THOUGHTS

• I love winning.  Especially when I’ve only done it twice this whole fucking season.  More to come, I hope.
• What do you all think of the trade between Nathan and me?  Certainly paid off for me this week while Johnson sat on the bench one more week.  Don’t feel too secure just yet.  It was only a few years ago that I traded Andre Johnson to Nathan late in the season who then surged in FF points to take the championship.  Consider yourselves warned.
• Mike burned his Ahmad Bradshaw jersey in angst this week.  Thousands of FF owners joined him.
• Tom has reminded us all again a valuable lesson in FF … check your lineups Sunday morning!  No exceptions.  For teams like his on the cusp of elimination every point counts. Don’t start someone who’s announced days ahead they’re not playing (Nicks).
• Speaking of Tom, he had a good quote while watching the Eagles game with Kevin and me Monday night.  “Only way I’m going to win is if Vick gets minus 25 points.  That’s possible, right?”  LOL.  It was the seriousness in his voice that got me.  I’m sure you heard him say it in your head as you read that too.  Only QB I can recall who came close to that was Ryan Leaf … oh, and Philip Rivers a few weeks ago.  Douche.
• Aaron Rodgers is on pace to have one of the best seasons for a QB in NFL history.  NewT is enjoying the ride.
• Like the new team name, Jason.  Rob agrees.  I think if the Bears lost Forte their season would be lost because they just can’t protect Cutler enough.
• I’m actually looking forward to the Packers-Lions game on Thanksgiving.
• I’m trying really hard to be happy for Eli Manning and how well he’s doing as a QB this year.  I’ve just had 2 too many bad years with him as my FF QB to forgive so easily.

WEEKLY AWARDS

• MVP – This one has to go to me for Julio Jones finally having the week that I and so many other FF owners thought he’d have every week after his stellar pre-season performance.  Here’s hoping it continues.  If nothing else, this week’s performance helped me climb out of the gutter and demolish Kevin, and how can that ever be a bad thing?
• Honorable Mention – I could give it to McCoy for getting Berk out of his dead-heat matchup with Mike, but I’ll give it to Vincent Jackson and Jason for a monster game against my Packers that any EW FF owner loves to see: lots of catches, lots of yards, lots of TD’s.
• Best Owner Choice – Lots of options this week.  Definitely like Nathan picking up the Cards defense.  We’ve seen fewer one-week pickups that Nathan has done so well with in the past.  Must be the new job throwing him off.  Like I said, we all seem off our best games a little this year.  Also like Tony starting McGahee who is outperforming Tebow but not getting the proper credit for it.  Instead, I’m going to give it to a pickup that also qualifies as our Unfortunate Bench award: Torrey Smith and NewT.  Excellent foresight by NewT to see the potential of Smith, and I see him becoming a go-to target for Flacco (sorry Gary and Boldin).  Too bad his points sat on the bench, but NewT didn’t need him.
• Unfortunate Bench – I don’t feel sorry for benching Rivers.  He’s sucked so bad this season it would have been a huge gamble to start him against one of the top turnover defenses in the league.  Sure enough, 2 INTs on the douche.  Of course, with the yards and TD’s he ended up huge this week.  Frustrating.  I still won, so fuck that.  Jason is hoping Steve Breaston has the year I’d predicted he would, and this week seems to show he just might.  Rob didn’t need Hasselbeck to win, so this one goes to Gary for starting Heyward-Bay when the Raiders obviously has no offensive leadership and no one ready to throw the ball to any receiver, much less him.
• Lawrence Phillips Award – I didn’t have a recipient this week until I started to learn more about the Penn State debacle.  This week the LPA goes to Joe Pa who decided over ten years ago to just ignore the fact that one of his favorite assistants was a pedophile after he was caught in the school showers and Joe Pa did nothing to prevent it in the future.  Nothing.  His disgraceful act is worse than any stupid thing Phillips ever did.  He deserved to lose his job and he deserves to have his legacy tarnished forever.  Sure, we’ll reminisce about the good ol’ days of Happy Valley football, but we won’t be able to forget those poor boys whose mentor and hero let them down and let them be hurt.  Shame on you, Joe Pa.  Enjoy your irrelevance in retirement.  I shall never speak a kind thing about you again.

MY PREDICTIONS

There’s four games left, so it’s time to make some hefty predictions, if for no other reason than my predictions this year have been way off and often led to the defeat of people despite their obvious superiority!  It’s great to be the writer of this blog and stuck at the bottom of the barrel so I can take shots at all of you so freely.  Let the fun begin!

• Nathan and Tony are pretty much shoe-ins for the playoffs, although Tony’s schedule looks tough on paper.  My gut tells me he’ll pull out the victories and keep the #2 seed.  Remember what I said about Andre Johnson, folks.
• Berk’s team is at 6-3 but I honestly can’t figure out why.  His team is all over the place when scoring points.  I’ve got a feeling it’s going to cost him a couple of games in the rest of his year, but he just make make one of the outside spots if a few things go his way.  Don’t know why, but I’m predicting a collapse and Berk misses the playoffs.
• NewT’s fate in the playoffs is going to be determined by his matchup with Nathan in Week 11.  If he wins, he’s in.  If he loses, he’ll need help to stay in over the other teams with the same record as him.
• Rob is sitting at 5-4 after a 3-game winning streak, but it ends here.  His last 4 games are really rough.  I don’t see him pulling this one out.
• I don’t know, Mike, it’s going to be tough.  You need a lot of good things to happen for you, and so few of them are guarantees.  But, with 22 moves you’ve changed your team more than anyone else in the league (including Nathan!) so I’m sure you’ll figure something out.  Easy finish against Ritchie in Week 12 to put you in.
• Jason needs at least two wins and some help to make it, even with Forte.
• Sorry, Ritchie, but you’re not going to make it.  You face Nathan, Mike and Tony.  You’re goose = cooked.
• Poor, poor, Kevin.  Should be up there with Nathan and Tony.  Instead, he’s down here with Gary and Tom.  Make no mistake, Kevin, you’ve got to win all 4 matchups.  Win them, not just get lots of points.  Make it happen.
• Tom’s 4-game losing streak won’t be ending soon.  Why, you ask?  Because he plays me this week, and there is NO game more important than this one for me.  I WILL WIN, and Tom will watch the playoffs with me.
• Gary needs a lot of help to make the playoffs because his players tend to have too many off weeks, usually at just the time that Gary starts them.  You’re a longshot, Gary, at best.  But, you should feel good as this is the most successful FF team you’ve ever assembled.  Like I said last year, you keep getting better each year you play.  You’re still only about 4 years away from a championship game appearance.  Don’t give up.

Sorry for the late entry but I’ve pulled 5 straight 12-hour days at work doing a major network upgrade, so I’m looking forward to spending this Sunday watching the games, packing up my house, throwing shit away and destroying my brother in FF.  Be sure to get your lineups in TONIGHT (Tom!) and good luck!