Evans World 2010 - Week 1

Ah, it feels good to be back sitting at the computer on a Monday evening figuring out new and better ways to mock Tom, Chris and Kevin, give some hope to Mike and comfort to Gary, profess my true feelings for Angi, encourage trades with Nathan and all-in-all remind you how awesome I am. I feel my summer months lack something that special, so it's good to know that Fall has arrived ... and so has my column. Just remember the simple rule ... I'm always right.

YES, I AM THIS GOOD
Looking back over the past 4 seasons that Evans' World has been hosted by Yahoo! I am 4-0 in Week 1, most of those years earning enough points to be ranked #1. I'm very proud to make it 5-0 this season, particularly after beating my brother in a nailbiter. I see my team going deep into the playoffs this year, and I know you do too.

GARY AND DETROIT GOT SCREWED
It was a touchdown catch. The rule is stupid. I understand the point of the rule and why it negated Calvin Johnson's TD catch, but it's wrong. I heard two great perspectives on this. First, someone said a TD is when the ball crosses the plane of the end zone in the firm possession of a player. Period. I like that. Straight, simple, and correct. Don Banks said it best. The NFL managed to over-complicate something simple like what is a completed pass, and it's not something that complicated. The extra points wouldn't have guaranteed a win for Gary, but every point helps every week. One thing is for sure, Johnson will be holding on the ball an extra 30 seconds after each TD this season.

KEVIN BEATS HIMSELF
... sorry ... that title just makes me laugh too much ... ah ... some things are just truer than others. Anyway, back to the column. One of the most fun matchups of the week was definitely between Kevin and Angi and of course the two teams that Kevin drafted. If you haven't tried to draft two teams at once in a league, I don't recommend it, and I doubt Kevin would either. For a whole season you're comparing the two teams. It's almost like you have two teams in your league. Bleh. Not to mention the difficulty of drafting two teams! So, when Kevin 1.0 was matched up with Kevin 2.0, I had to laugh and cry (a little). In the end Kevin (1.0) came out ahead. Even still, the matchup was sitting at 63-64 Monday morning. That, my friends, are two well-drafted teams. Good work, Kevin. Angi, I believe Kevin can be paid in romantic favors or the phone number of a single friend dying to meet the perfect man.

ONCE AGAIN, BEWARE OF TONY
I, for one, was very impressed by Tony's team in Week 1. Seriously folks, Tony is a RB away from a guaranteed threat every week. And those of you who have read my blog in the past know I don't make comments like that in WEEK ONE. Tony, start talking to Nathan.

WELCOME TO THE LEAGUE ... LOSER
I have sources that tell me that Mike has done just about everything within human knowledge to guarantee his win this season. I believe he has sacrificed chickens (KFC), virgins (Tom) and professed faith in questionable deities (Thor) to get the win. He came out with a very strong first week, showing his good friend Jason just how welcome he is in our league. With friends like Mike ...

THIS ONE'S GONNA BE CLOSE!
(Anybody know what movie I just quoted there?) The average score of our teams this week was 87.5. Holy shit! To me, that indicates we all did our homework (except for Tom, of course) and drafted solid teams. I expect that average to be consistent. Just for fits and shiggles I'm going to keep track of the average team score each week just so you can all feel a little better about yourselves, especially after my team bitch-slaps you up and down the Internet.

WEEKLY AWARDS
I'm going to try 5 weekly awards this year and if I feel gracious enough you might actually get something more than your name mentioned in the blog, but we'll see.
Fantasy MVP - Lots of whispers pre-season that Arian Foster would be the Fantasy surprise stud of the year, and if Week 1 is any indication Rob was right to listen to the rumors and draft him. My only thought is this: We've seen this before out of Houston. Steve Slaton, Domanick Williams, Samkon Gado, and Ron Dayne were Fantasy studs that fizzled out very quickly. We'll have to see.
Honorable Mention - Matt Forte was a stud two years ago and a dud last year, but Chris (perhaps out of loyalty) stuck with him and got a huge payoff in week 1. Yeah Chris lost his matchup, but something tells me that Chris will keep Forte in his starting lineup with more conviction now than two days ago.
Best Owner Move/Choice - Gary, ESPN can send free updates via text message on injuries. I suggest signing up for them. You barely changed out Beanie Wells in time, although the texts told me on Friday he wouldn't play. You all might want to do the same. You can thank me later for my awesomeness.
Unfortunate Bench - Poor Chris, benching Austin Collie at all the wrong times. It's a tough call on whether to play him or not considering the Fantasy weirdness that is the Colts. This one hurts more because Collie would have put Chris over the top. Something tells me Collie will win this award several times this season, except of course for the week Chris plays me, starts him and he scores big. History is doomed to repeat itself after all.
Lawrence Phillips Award - For Jason and the other newbies to this column, the Lawrence Phillips Award is given to the team/player who demonstrates sheer stupidity in the face of reality (i.e. Lawrence Philips doing, well, just about anything). I try to work in a FF-reference if possible, but most often it's just me ranting about a player doing something well-beneath his position. This week's award goes to Tony Romo who should have had the insight and experience to say "take a knee" at the end of the first half against the Redskins. Calling an audible for a safe play at the end of a half is not disgraceful. He should have known to do it, but instead he went with the Hail Mary play that was called and pretty much sealed the game against the Cowboys. The difference between a good quarterback and a great one is measured in the smallest of increments ... a great QB would have seen the situation for what it was and called the same play that they undoubtedly had called dozens of times in their career. Romo is just a good QB, nothing more.

RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT WEEK 1
- I rarely say I told you so (outside of this column), but did I not say a mere 7 months ago that this season would be a good one to be a Chiefs fan? Yeah, I TOLD YOU SO. What a great performance by a team no one has taken seriously for almost five years!
- Out of sheer boredom I watched hour 1 of the 4-hour Sunday pre-game show on the NFL Network with the ever-annoying Michael Irvin and the wasted Steve Mariucci. In their highlight on rookies expected to have a big week 1 their #2 pick was Suh. Sadly, their graphics people missed that they spelled his name SUN. Yeah, just one more reason to skip the NFL Network pre-game show.
- I don't like the new FOX ticker/scoreboard, or "Fox Box" as Joe Buck kept calling it. As a fan and Fantasy Football owner I want more information, not less. I don't feel distracted or that some pivotal play is getting blocked by extra graphics at the top and bottom of the screen. I hate to say it, but CBS got it right.
- The Detroit Lions looked like a real NFL team for the first time since Barry Sanders was on the field. They actually looked like a team that wanted to win instead of a team that didn't want to get beaten too badly. They're 0-1 now, but in my book they had control of that game for four quarters and should have won. I hope they really give it to Chicago when they visit Ford Field in December.
- Randy Moss ... shut up and play.
- Wow, I think anyone who thought Dallas was the #1 team in the league is eating a healthy dose of humble pie today. They suck and they know it.
- I had the Jets going to the Super Bowl until the Monday night game. Now I'm not sure they'll even win their division. Their defense will ensure low scoring games though.
- It was funny to me to see some of the most seasoned and experienced QB's do so poorly this weekend! P. Manning, Favre, McNabb, Rivers, Romo ... they all were running around the field, often for their lives, and chucking the ball instead of the precision we usually see from them. So weird. I wonder if it was just a week 1 thing or maybe just good defense/bad pass protection. Time will tell, but it's weird to see kids like Henne, Orton and Stafford play with more poise.
- Where was Toby Gearhart?
- I like the improvements to the Yahoo! StatTracker. Didn't notice them? Well, I'm in two Yahoo! leagues. Switching between the two is now fast and smooth. That makes for a very happy Brad.
- HEY! NFL! A 9:15 PM kick-off is great for people in Vegas and California, but most of Kansas City wanted to get out of the rain and go to bed. Don't do it again. And ESPN, that is the worst play-calling team I've ever heard in my entire life. Trent Dilfer??? Ug! Fire them all. They didn't even see Charles miss the first down at the end of the half. Good god. If nothing else, the stats would be updated Tuesday morning so I can post earlier.

I can't tell you how much I love football. Not near as much as I love Angi, but more than just about everything else. A great weekend of football with more yet to come. Good luck to all in Week 2! Be sure to become a follower of this blog to get updates in the future and COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT! See you next week!